Monday, February 14, 2011

Why I'm a V-Day Cynic.

Okay, to be fair. I don't exactly believe what that sign says...although my thoughts don't stray too far.

I get the desire for people to want to celebrate Valentine's Day with those they love. It's sweet to send flowers or exchange meaningful gifts and if you love to celebrate this date on the calendar then more power to you.

My dislike of this day is not so much the sentiment because anytime couples or families or friends want to show one another how much they care it can't be a bad thing.
My problem with today is the expectation it seems to place on couples and the problems it creates for couples when those expectations are not met. Year after year I talk to friends who are hurt because their loved one didn't do what they thought they should: didn't call, didn't buy the perfect thing, forgot to pick up a greeting card or didn't send flowers. Then suddenly it becomes a measure of a relationship when a relationship is so much more than one day. "He must not love me as much as I thought he did if he didn't even pick out a card today of all days!" It seems off balance to put so much into one day.
Valentine's Day in our house is kind of an afterthought. We are aware of the day but it is expectation free. We understand the need to share our feelings with each other but without the pressure of gifts or cards. We joke, laugh and share daily. We don't place commercial expectations on one another, they aren't necessary.

Today we did what we do every day. We cooked dinner together. We talked about our day. We shared margaritas.

I am not trying to bag on those that love February 14th. It's just not our thing.



Brenna @ Almost All The Truth said...

I love Valentine's Day, but I think I love it because we don't put any pressure on ourselves to do anything. We had a fabulous dinner (alone after kids were in bed), wine, and delicious dessert. Just spent time together.

And I tried to do things with love for everybody I saw today. Even let a bunch of people in when I was driving to the doctor's office, lol.

Love is never a bad thing. Pressure is almost never a good thing.

Laurie said...

Sounds like you guys had a wonderful evening! And spreading the love...what a great way to make a positive impact on those around you!

ham1299 said...

Excellent post. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I think you're right about those expectations!

On a different note, I have something for you: