Oh Ya, I suck!

I dropped my algebra class yesterday.

I had to make the decision to drop it while it would only show a "W" on my transcripts or risk not passing it with a 'C'. So I dropped it. I missed a major test early on in the semester and really never quite recovered. There really was no way I could pass this class with a high enough grade to keep my 4.0 GPA intact. I am okay with my GPA lowering, it can't remain perfect forever but I can't risk it going down so much it has a negative effect on my scholarship eligibility.

I do feel so much less stress right now, I had myself worked up into quite a tizzy over my grade and how I was so far behind. I felt like I was treading water with weights on my feet. I'm sure it was the right decision but I can't help but feel like a failure. I should be able to finish what I've started and this makes the second class I've had to drop because the pressure was too much for me.

I am able to focus on my Human Sexuality and Child Psychology courses. I have a major paper to work on for Sexuality and a major unit test in Child Psyc. I am maintaining an 'A' in both of those classes.

Oh Ya, I suck!

Spark People

I am considering joining Spark People but I'm unsure if the site is useful.

Hummm....

Spark People

Fitness Goal

My fitness goal this week is to get my recommended daily protein. I need to fit 71 grams of protein in, without adding calories! So far so good!

Fitness Goal

Homework Woes

I have a paper to work on tonight. I would love to be working on my paper tonight instead of playing on the computer. But I can't write my paper tonight because my children--the boys to be specific--are refusing to go to sleep! Gaah!

The paper should be relatively easy to write. It is supposed to be a detailed description of my relationship philosophy. Simple enough, I know what want, what I don't want and what I have in my relationship.

Now I just want Jeff to NOT be out of town so I can lock myself in my room and type my relationship philosophy paper up!

Please, please go to sleep so I can finish my paper and go to sleep myself!

Homework Woes

Right On

Right On

Once Upon a Time...

I was about 30 pounds lighter. In those days--not too long ago--I was also a smoker. I hated being a smoker and hid it from practically everyone I knew. It was my big dirty secret. And considering how much it stinks, probably not very secret.

So I quit. My quit date was October 5, 2007. I did not use any stop-smoking aids, no supplements, no hypnosis or any other hokus pokus. Just good old fashioned will power and self control. Oh ya, and food...I can't forget the food. Which is why I'm now 30 pounds heavier.

I really almost started smoking again to get the 30 pounds off but that seemed so crazy after how hard it has been to quit. I am fighting the urge to smoke every day, still, but I know that being heavier is far better than smoking, even just one cigarette. (Not to mention the smell of smoke makes me ill now.)

So I have remained smoke free and gained pound after pound after pound. See, smoking gives you something to do so when you aren't smoking you need something to do. Most of us nonsmokers choose to snack...and snack...and snack. Then there's also the appetite suppressant that is nicotine. When you are hungry then smoke you're not hungry anymore for a while. The act of smoking tricks you into thinking you're eating and the nicotine suppresses the hunger. Whoohoo, instant diet! Except for the nastiness involved, it would be perfect.

I can't blame my additional 30 pounds only on quitting smoking though. I also turned 3o this year and my metabolism stalled out. I used to have a crazy fast metabolism (aided by the stimulant that is nicotine for sure) and could eat ANYTHING I wanted without regret or concern for my waistline. Of course now that's just not possible but the habit is still there!

I suppose I should be thankful, I was pregnant and lost baby weight 4 times. And today as I type some 30 pounds heavier, I'm not exactly overweight. But I am extremely uncomfortable with myself and if I don't do something now, I will become overweight.

So here's the plan. I'm working on getting back down to the size I should be, when I felt the best, and in better shape. That's what the ticker at the bottom of my blog is for...to help me keep on top of my progress and to keep me accountable. And if you click on the ticker it will take you to a page to see a chart and progress as I go!

Once Upon a Time...

I am Sunshine--Ha!

I can't tell if this is insulting me or not! :P

You Are Sunshine

Soothing and calm You are often held up by others as the ideal But too much of you, and they'll get burned You are best known for: your warmth Your dominant state: connecting

What Type of Weather Are You?

I am Sunshine--Ha!

I'm A INFJ--What Are You?

Does it fit?

You Are An INFJ

The Protector You live your life with integrity, originality, vision, and creativity. Independent and stubborn, you rarely stray from your vision - no matter what it is. You are an excellent listener, with almost infinite patience. You have complex, deep feelings, and you take great care to express them. In love, you truly see relationships as an opportunity to connect and grow. You enjoy relationships as long as they are improving and changing. You can't stand stagnation. At work, you stay motivated and happy... as long as you are working toward a dream you support. You would make a great photographer, alternative medicine guru, or teacher. How you see yourself: Hardworking, ethical, and helpful When other people don't get you, they see you as: Manipulative, weak, and unstable

What's Your Personality Type?

I'm A INFJ--What Are You?

Putting It Out There

That ticker shows my goal when it comes to slimming down. This is posted as an element at the bottom of this blog.

Enough said!

Really, I'll share more later. The kids are reading...

Putting It Out There

Sushi Bar

So we've got two cats, Sophie and Olivia. Olivia is still pretty much a kitten and well, kittens are nuts!! Like Chet on The Santa Clause 2! ("Nothing wrong with a straight line, Chet!" )

Anyway--we also have an aquarium. Well, two. One for Apollo our beta and one for our other fish. The fish have been living quite happily in their home for quite some time and we've only had one or two die for no apparent reason. There was one pair of guppies, the biggest, we named Fire and Lightening because Fire's tail looked like fire and Lightening's tail looked like lightening...simple enough. Fire died while Jeff was out of town. We're not sure why but he did. So that left Lightening as the biggest and prettiest in our aquarium.

Well, see, here's where the kitten comes into the picture. Olivia believes the fish are her own private Sushi Bar. She's been interested in watching the fish since she got well after being so sick. She sits in front of the aquarium and tracks the zebra's and tetras and catfish and guppies. Lightening, being the largest, got a lot of her attention. We, as good fish owners, discouraged Olivia from taking an interest but nature is nature...

The other morning the kids came running into my bedroom. "Mom, mom! Olivia was on the fish tank and her paw is wet!" I, in my still sleeping stupor, said "It's okay, just get her down," and proceeded with my morning. It wasn't until much later that evening when I was looking at the aquarium and realized we were missing Lightening. The biggest and prettiest of our guppies. I knew he hadn't died. We knew he didn't get sucked up in the little fish vacuum. Lightening was not floating around or stuck in a tree...he was just gone.

Then it dawned on me...Olivia! Of course, there's a spot on the back of the lid that's cut away where the filter and heater poke up. It is large enough for a cat to scoop up a fish! And said cat was caught on the lid with a wet paw. We're pretty sure of what happened to Lightening. Poor fish...

Yet, somehow I can't not laugh about it.

Sushi Bar

Clutter Removed

Monday I spent the day clearing out our closets and other areas where things like to collect. It was an All.Day.Event!

My mom came over to cart the stuff away. She's got connections and knows people who need stuff--like she knows a grandma with a lot of grandchildren who could use kid stuff and we've got plenty of that! She knows where the best places to take things to Goodwill with the most need and who to take the other stuff if we want to sell it.

I began with the girls' clothes. Then moved on to my clothes. After my clothes I moved on to the other stuff in my closet. I did not even know most of the things that were in there were in there! I had a giant bag of purses--brand new purses. I had no idea they were in there. They had to have been years old because I haven't bought a random purse in over four years. I'm a Coach girl and treat myself to one Coach a year. I thought I got rid of all my extra purses years ago!

I also had, stashed way, way in the back of my closet was baby stuff. I saved some of the oddest things like our--Moses Basket, infant positioner--I'm done having babies and have no need for any baby item but for some strange reason I had those items crammed into the back of my closet. I had old infant toys, a huge bag of Beanie Babies..it's like anything I could not find a place for I stuck in my closet. Thankfully it is a walk-in so there was room but geesh!

I also cleaned out my linen closet! I had the crib sets from C (he's 7!) and A (she's 3!) stuffed up on the top shelf. Seriously? What was I going to do with those?

After I was finished dragging stuff out I had enough to stuff her van full! Yet, it doesn't feel like I reduced our clutter. I've likely got more than enough junk to stuff her van a few more times! One day I'll get it all out of here! One day!

Next on my list....the kids' old craft bucket and play doh stuff and other clutter that's overtaking our laundry room!

Clutter Removed

I'm Cilantro!

Last one of these for today! :)

You Are Cilantro

The bad news is that there are some people who can't stand you. The good news is that most people love you more than anything else in the world. You are distinct, unusual, fresh, and very controversial. And you wouldn't have it any other way.

What Spice Are You?

I'm Cilantro!

How Indie am I?

You Are 59% Indie

You're pretty indie, but you don't make a fuss letting everyone know. You just do what you like. You enjoy many types of things - from trendy to bizarre.

How Indie Are You?

How Indie am I?

Odd Phenomenon

Or maybe it isn't odd. You be the judge.

We've got 3 kids in elementary school and our oldest is in 6th grade meaning we've had a child in this particular school for almost 7 years now. Depending on which one of us picks up the kids, we go in and chat up the parents and teachers every day. So being the "elder" (*shudder*) parents in the school we have noticed a lot of various trends over the years. They are usually pretty little and usually are focused around cliques--what moms are friends, what moms have had a falling out.

We also see trends like one year was a pajama year--moms showed up with their pjs on to collect their kids. (I am proud to say I was not part of this trend but I may have started it because when I was pregnant with Aly I wore pjs a lot, lol!)

But this new mom fad is weird. I suppose it's not necessarily weird but it does make me wonder just how much of an impact pop culture has not only on our children but on us adults as well.

In the last year, maybe year and a half, an increasing number of moms have been bringing little Paris Hilton-Britney Spears pocket dogs to school. The first mom to do it got a TON of attention from parents, teachers and kids. It was cute, a little yorkie she carried around with her. Then about a month later another mom brought a brand new tiny little dog. And a little while later another dog showed up and this continued for the last year or so. Now there are a number of little accessory dogs being carried around the school.

I knew when the celebutantes begun carrying around dogs as part of their outfits that little kids and teenagers would want a tiny little pocket dog, too. But I really did not think it would eventually branch out to moms. I suppose it really is telling though. Adults, like kids, are equally vulnerable to fads.

*and it is worth it to note that all of the tiny pocket dog mommies I am speaking of take very good care of their children...and their dogs.

Odd Phenomenon

Research Paper

In my Human Sexuality class we have to research a topic related to sex and human relationships and write a paper on our findings. I had to turn in my topic by Monday at midnight with an outline and a title. I was really having a tough time thinking of a topic, let alone an outline. By about 10 PM I finally thought of a topic--Abstinence Education! I have a pretty strong stance on the new Abstinence Education programs so I thought I could research the topic and see if my stance is fair. I wrote a title (How Much Information is Too Much Information: Examining the Debate over Abstinence Education Programs) and a brief outline and my professor approved it this morning. He knows my position on Abstinence Education programs--I am very much ANTI Abstinence Only Education--so he cautioned me to be sure and write fairly.

Now to find psychology journals that have published studies on the pros and cons of Abstinence Education!

Research Paper

What NOT to do on a Stability Ball

I was reading in Self magazine (or Marie Claire i can't remember) that push-ups on the stability ball are awesome and work wonders. Yes, a new cool, new-wave exercise to try!

So dumb-ass Laurie decides to try it--except dumb-ass Laurie can't do a push-up on stable ground much less a wiggly ball. I set the ball on the groud and look down on it. How do I get in the push-up position without falling? I walk in a circle around the ball as I plot my entry. I kneel down and place my hands in the proper position--10 and 2--and slowly try to elevate my hips into the push-up position. The ball starts to wobble...I start to wobble. Life flashes before my eyes as the ball wiggled just enough to throw me completely off balance...not that I was balanced before mind you. I only had just enough strength to hold it steady enough to fall on top of it.

Needless to say my face bounced off the ball. Thank goodness the kids were sleeping and J is in NY. Sometimes I am such an idiot and I mean that about myself in the most loving way!

What NOT to do on a Stability Ball

Random Thought

When "they" (whoever they are) named a quack--the sound that comes from a duck--did they name it because it actually sounds like "Quack"? What about "meow"? They clearly are named after the sounds so then how did they become actual words? The sound a baby makes when it cries is not "cry" but more like "waaah" so why wasn't that made into an actual word?

Random Thought

What Liberals Believe

I found this on my friend Diane's Blog and thought it was worth passing on. Liberal has become a bad word and GOP mouth pieces would have you believe that liberals are immoral individuals who are hell bent on destroying government. Frankly, if our government is destroyed a Liberal won't be responsible. Look at the last 8 years of GOP "leadership" and the state of our country and compare to the previous 8 years of Liberal leadership and the state of the country then. The difference is clear, the GOP has done nothing good for America yet somehow Liberals are the bag guys?

According to RANDI RHODES: (Air America Radio)

* We believe our elected leaders ought to have been ELECTED. We also believe they should be neighbors, soldiers, police officers, schoolteachers, single working moms, straight, gay, black, white, American Indian, Arab American, and so on. In other words, we think our House of Representatives ought to be representative of Americans.

* We believe in a strong defense (not offense). We believe a peace divident is worth more than war profits for defense contractors. We believe that war is HELL on earth and that earth cannot take much more war.

* We believe in diplomacy and spreading democracy by example, not by bombing the s**t out of people until they say anything we want to hear or they bomb us back.

* We believe in effective crime prevention, which starts with ending poverty (the leading cause of crime).

* We believe in freedom and privacy for people and regulation and oversight for corporations.

* We believe in freedom of speech, freedom of assembly, freedom of religion, freedom from poverty, and most of all freedom from fear for people, not corporations! Corporations are not people, if they were they would have colonoscopies and mammograms. Corporations must be regulated.

* We believe in all our civil rights, including counting votes by hand. No corporately-owned machines. Your vote is sacred and private and deserves to be counted by hand.

* Progressives believe in a fair tax code....not a tax code that favors one person over another.

* We believe that health care is a right to be enjoyed by ALL Americans because the purpose of government is to promote the general welfare of the people. There is no other reason to have a government except to promote the general welfare of the people.

* We believe that disaster relief comes first when people are dying. Nothing gets debated, passed or voted on in Congress until everyone is safe and ccounted for.

* We believe that our planet is a living thing and needs to be nurtured and loved.

* We believe that civil unions are to be encouraged. Any couple who can live together every day and be civil deserves everything this country can offer them and their family.

* We believe love trumps hate. Hate is NOT a family value unless you are the Manson family, the bin Ladens or GWB.

* We believe in the separation of powers. There are THREE coequal branches of government. Noen of them pick the president of the U.S. The states do. The people elect their representatives in the House and Senate.

* We believe that no man is above the law, no man is beneath the law, and no man is the law. A "unitary executive" is just a fancy word for dictatorship.

* We believe all men are entitled to meet their accuser, know what they are accused of, and defend themselves in a court of law. There is no such thing as an "enemy combatant".

* We believe that there is no such thing as a "signing statement" that allows a president to ignore the laws passed by Congress and signed by the president.

* We believe there is no such thing as warrantless search and seizure. These are myths that are repeated over and over again so that they can be made believeable.

* We believe our consent is necessary to govern. We believe that a president who does not pay attention to polling or read newspapers is not paying attention to the people of this country or the world.

Progressives believe in progress, progress in schools, health and the environment and the spread of prosperity and hope. These are examples of a strong democracy. Democracy should work for everyone who participates and even those who don't. Democracy can only be spread by works, not words.

Remember, America can never be destroyed by outsiders. Destroying America will be an INSIDE JOB. Liberals will never allow America to be destroyed.

What Liberals Believe

We Are the Ones

We Are the Ones

My Open Mind

You Are 60% Open Minded

You are a very open minded person, but you're also well grounded. Tolerant and flexible, you appreciate most lifestyles and viewpoints. But you also know where you stand firm, and you can draw that line. You're open to considering every possibility - but in the end, you stand true to yourself.

How Open Minded Are You?

My Open Mind

My Season

You Belong in Fall

Intelligent, introspective, and quite expressive at times... You appreciate the changes in color, climate, and mood that fall brings Whether you're carving wacky pumpkins or taking long drives, autumn is a favorite time of year for you

What Season Are You?

My Season

Cleaning Up and Clearing it Out!

You know, we have a lot of junk.

J.U.N.K.

There are six of us and each of us has our own junk. So we are trying to reduce our junk! And as much as I hate to admit this, most of the junk belongs to me. I have tons of craft stuff that I never use because I have no time. I have all kinds of half-completed projects that will probably never be completed. I've got papers--things I feel like I can never, never, never discard. It's silly. I do believe there is a pack-rat gene and I do believe it runs in my family. And I do believe I have that gene.

So I have made a deal with myself. The first step was to recycle all of the kids' school papers that I had kept in Rubbermaid tubs in my bedroom. Let's see, S is in 6th grade, M is in 3rd grade and C is in 1st grade. I kept every art project and every significant project or paper from their classes. You can try to imagine how much that is exactly--it's too embarrassing for me to say. So the deal was that I could recycle these papers if I took a picture of the papers so we'd still have the memory of them but not the actual clutter. So almost 400 pictures later (multiple projects in each picture) I drove all of the projects to the recycling center. It was a HUGE deal and I was sure the sky would fall as I placed my beautiful children's art work in bins to ultimately be destroyed. But, the sky didn't fall and after a brief mouring period I felt okay about freeing up all of that space--quite accomplished even!

So the next step, and this is the step I am working on today is all of these craft projects and supplies for all of these projects. They have taken over my bedroom. I began last night with a silly puzzle Christmas ornament project I was doing years ago--I still had all of the spare puzzle pieces and junk to make them with. They aren't that cute so I don't know why I kept the supplies. And boxes of fabric I had found for quilt making--I don't know how to make a quilt and I was positive I could teach myself. The quilt is almost made (it's not bad actually), folded and placed in a Rubbermaid tub in our laundry room. I haven't even looked at it in years. Who knows if I'll ever finish it. I do plan to work on that this summer after the semester ends so I can give it to Madison so I am keeping that. But I've got all of these boxes of fabric scraps from this quilt (oh and the 3 others I started--1 for each kid) that I will not use. So those are going. I have at least 10 more various projects and all of the supplies for each project and all of those are going. The deal I made with myself is if they can't fit into a small green tote I have then I can't keep them. They will, depending on their condition, be trashed or go to Goodwill.

Next will be my clothes--I'm up a few sizes but feel like I can get back down. I'm sure you all know how that's going to go!

Cleaning Up and Clearing it Out!

S is better--C Not So Much

After being so sick, S was well and back at school by the second day. We had M and Cbring his make-up work home and we worked on some lessons to he didn't miss too much after missing so many days.

Now it is C's turn to not feel very well. C only has a cold--bad cough and runny nose etc--and not strep throat or the flu. He stayed home from school today because he just was not feeling well this morning. I am crossing my fingers he'll get over this quickly and can go back to school tomorrow!

I've got one heck of a headache so that's all I'm writing for now! But I do have some news about my classes I'll get to soon!

S is better--C Not So Much