Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Once Upon a Time...

I was about 30 pounds lighter. In those days--not too long ago--I was also a smoker. I hated being a smoker and hid it from practically everyone I knew. It was my big dirty secret. And considering how much it stinks, probably not very secret.

So I quit. My quit date was October 5, 2007. I did not use any stop-smoking aids, no supplements, no hypnosis or any other hokus pokus. Just good old fashioned will power and self control. Oh ya, and food...I can't forget the food. Which is why I'm now 30 pounds heavier.

I really almost started smoking again to get the 30 pounds off but that seemed so crazy after how hard it has been to quit. I am fighting the urge to smoke every day, still, but I know that being heavier is far better than smoking, even just one cigarette. (Not to mention the smell of smoke makes me ill now.)

So I have remained smoke free and gained pound after pound after pound. See, smoking gives you something to do so when you aren't smoking you need something to do. Most of us nonsmokers choose to snack...and snack...and snack. Then there's also the appetite suppressant that is nicotine. When you are hungry then smoke you're not hungry anymore for a while. The act of smoking tricks you into thinking you're eating and the nicotine suppresses the hunger. Whoohoo, instant diet! Except for the nastiness involved, it would be perfect.

I can't blame my additional 30 pounds only on quitting smoking though. I also turned 3o this year and my metabolism stalled out. I used to have a crazy fast metabolism (aided by the stimulant that is nicotine for sure) and could eat ANYTHING I wanted without regret or concern for my waistline. Of course now that's just not possible but the habit is still there!

I suppose I should be thankful, I was pregnant and lost baby weight 4 times. And today as I type some 30 pounds heavier, I'm not exactly overweight. But I am extremely uncomfortable with myself and if I don't do something now, I will become overweight.

So here's the plan. I'm working on getting back down to the size I should be, when I felt the best, and in better shape. That's what the ticker at the bottom of my blog is for...to help me keep on top of my progress and to keep me accountable. And if you click on the ticker it will take you to a page to see a chart and progress as I go!



Tracy said...

I will help support you - I need some help also, I haven't been comfortable for quite some time!

Laurie said...

I am happy to help you out, too!